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The Rock-itt : March Rock-itt 2014
FLIPS SEARCH FOR MIRTH, MADNESS, & MERRIMENT! YOU MUST BE JOKIN! with MIKE BAMBERRY Elder wisdom As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind: Every part of this darn ROCK-ITT was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. - Desmond Tutu America is the only country where a significant proportion of The population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. - David Letterman I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire. - Howard Hughes After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box. - Italian proverb I BECAME WHEN I HEARD THE WORD 'SERVICE' USED WITH THESE AGENCIES: BANKING 'SERVICE' POSTAL 'SERVICE' TELEPHONE 'SERVICE' PAY TV 'SERVICE' CIVIL 'SERVICE' CITY, STATE & PUBLIC 'SERVICE' CUSTOMER 'SERVICE' BUREAUCRATIC 'SERVICE' THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT 'SERVICE' MEANT. BUT TODAY, I OVERHEARD TWO FARMERS TALKING, AND ONE OF THEM SAID HE HAD HIRED A BULL TO 'SERVICE' HIS COWS. IT ALL CAME INTO FOCUS. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THOSE AGENCIES ARE DOING TO US! 1 THE ID CARD THE OTHER DAY I NEEDED TO GO TO THE PUBLIC HOSPITAL BUT NOT WANTING TO SIT THERE FOR 4 HOURS, I PUT ON MY BLUE JACKET AND PINNED ON A PLASTIC ID CARD THAT I HAD MADE OFF THE INTERNET ONTO THE FRONT OF MY JACKET... WHEN I WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL, I NOTICED THAT 3 QUARTERS OF THE PEOPLE GOT UP AND LEFT. I GUESS THEY DECIDED THAT THEY WEREN'T THAT SICK AFTER ALL. CUT AT LEAST 3 HOURS OFF MY WAITING TIME. HERE BELOW IS THE PATCH. FEEL FREE TO USE IT THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN NEED OF QUICKER EMERGENCY SERVICE: TWO FEMALE TEACHERS TOOK A GROUP OF STUDENTS FROM GRADES 1, 2 AND 3 FOR A FIELD TRIP TO FLEMINGTON RACECOURSE. WHEN IT WAS TIME TO TAKE THE CHILDREN TO THE 'BATHROOM', IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE GIRLS WOULD GO WITH ONE TEACHER AND THE BOYS WOULD GO WITH THE OTHER. THE TEACHER ASSIGNED TO THE BOYS WAS WAITING OUTSIDE THE MEN'S TOILET WHEN ONE OF THE BOYS CAME OUT AND TOLD HER THAT NONE OF THEM COULD REACH THE URINAL. HAVING NO CHOICE, SHE WENT INSIDE, HELPED THE LITTLE BOYS WITH THEIR PANTS, AND BEGAN HOISTING THEM UP ONE BY ONE, HOLDING ON TO THEM TO DIRECT THE FLOW AWAY FROM THEIR CLOTHES AND SHAKE THEM DRY. AS SHE LIFTED ONE BOY UP, SHE COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT HE WAS UNUSUALLY WELL ENDOWED. TRYING NOT TO SHOW THAT SHE WAS STARING AT HIS EQUIPMENT THE TEACHER SAID, 'YOU MUST BE IN GRADE 3? 'NO MA'AM', HE REPLIED. 'I'M RIDING BLACK CAVIAR IN THE NEXT RACE, BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HELP.' IT ALSO WORKS AT CENTRELINK. IT SAVED ME 2 HOURS. DON'T TRY IT AT MCDONALD'S THOUGH..... THE WHOLE STAFF DISAPPEARED AND I NEVER GOT MY ORDER!!!!!!