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The Rock-itt : October 2011
Cougar Attacks Elderly Couple in Blue Mountains Bush Reserve An elderly couple are recovering in Blackheath Hospital after being attacked by a cougar in a bush reserve in the Blue Mountains. Apparently the couple had gone to the defence of their 15 year old grandson who was picnicking with them and had become the focus of the stalking predator .A fifty five year old Blue Mountains woman will face court on Monday charged with trying to seduce a minor and assaulting the elderly couple. The 15 year old is being counselled. World Pie Eating Record Broken The world pie eating record has been broken at Tumbi Umbi on the NSW central coast. Two m en managed to gnaw their way through 73 meat pies to beat the old record by 23 meat pies, set by the Rissole brothers in 1978. The outright winner, Cecil Crust, beat his rival Ted Turnover by only 1 extra pie. The m en will be buried at Rookwood cemetery on Friday. What Have You Got? A bloke walks into a pub in Surry Hills, just opposite the hospital, dressed in pyjamas and slippers. He looks gaunt and pale. He walks up to the bar and orders a double Chivas Regal. The barmaid, thinking he had come from the hospital, asks as he downs it in one gulp, “God, you look crook, what have you got”? He shakes his head then orders a double Napoleon brandy and downs it in one gulp. Again the barmaid, concerned that he was on a death wish asks, “W hat have you got?” This goes on for another half hour with the bloke drinking twenty doubles off the top shelf liquor on the bars most expensive menu and is absolutely legless. But before he can order another drink the barmaid says, “I won’t give you another drink until you tell me what you’ve got.” The bloke looks up, bleary eyed and cracks a big smile, “About FIFTY CENTS.” Bluey and the One Thong Bluey walks into the Parkway hotel and orders a beer. As the barmaid pours the beer, she looks down and notices that Bluey is only wearing one thong. “Hey, Bluey, did you lose a thong mate?” she asks. Bluey replies, “Nah, found one.” Rhyman Simon There was a young lady from Ryde Who fell into the toilet and died Her young sister Sue Fell down there too Now they’re inturd Side by side Cartoons by Graeme Biddle Artrain Express